RAMBLINGS OF A BLOGGER: A New Year begins…

I’ll start by wishing you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR and hope that 2020 is an amazing and incredible year! I’m all for making New Year resolutions alongside a to-do list, however as my resolutions inevitably fly out the window by week three, I’m keeping them simple and do-able this time, by practising mindfulness, being more eco-conscious and environmentally friendly and lastly, being true to myself:

Pinterest quote for grateful heart

I drove to work this morning with a red sky stretched above me and was reminded how rewarding it is to start the work day early with the intention of leaving earlier in the afternoon; it doesn’t always happen, but when it does, what a treat to be home by four!

gratitude quote pinterest

I’m a cappuccino junkie chasing down a second and third before noon and no, I’m not going to cut down on my caffeine consumption this year, but my son has been trying to get us to remove dairy from our diets, (I gave up buying butter last year and surprisingly it wasn’t that hard as bread dipped in olive oil is delish and tasty and coconut oil is a great substitute to cook with, but black coffee….I need to think about this a little more!)

I headed up the Recycling Department at my kids junior school many moons back where I was quite vigilant, yet the last couple of years I haven’t been as attentive, (glass and paper are easy ones but tins and plastic I’ve let slide and unfortunately recycling isn’t collected in our area, so I’ve grown lazy); however that’s all changing as I shall be dropping my recycling at OASIS once a week. OASIS provides work and skills development opportunities for men and women with intellectual disability so you’re doing two positives when dropping off your recycling, (just remember to separate items to make it more manageable).

OASIS has been my go-to place for dumping everything and again it’s a charity, so a heads up to support and if you’re looking for any CDs from the late 80’s to mid 2000’s, go and trawl through over 800 CDS I dropped off about five months ago, (who still listens to those but you never know?!) Oh, and books – loads of coffee table and normal books! I cried when handing them over as I have a real attachment to books, but last year’s intention was to have a massive cleanup and I did it so yay, to live with less clutter in the house!

gratitude quote from pinterest

And lastly, this year I am going to give myself ‘me time’ and practice self-love, (although I struggle with this self-love thing and can I truly do that wholeheartedly?) It probably sounds weird but I come from a childhood where I know I was loved in a bizarre abstract way, but expressing ourselves was seen as self indulgent and wrong and it was ‘ not the done thing’ to talk about our feelings, emotions, discomfort, sadness, truth, so we learnt to bottle things up real tight.

The past is a good lesson on how not to repeat certain behaviours and habitual patterns and I’m still learning to let go of toxic and negative things and people who drain my energy. Getting sick last year was a reality check; if I don’t look after my health and myself no-one else will and I need a positive head space for me and my darling hubby. It’s such a hard topic to deal with and talk about, but my hubby has been diagnosed with vascular dementia and I’m still feeling bewildered and heartbroken knowing I’m losing my best friend, my everything, yet he’s alive right next to me and totally unaware of what’s happening. I get teary just mentioning it so I don’t know if I’m ready to even talk honestly about it, but I have to face reality and the future. I guess the hardest thing is not having the support of my parents, yet thank heaves for my sisters and amazing friends, lucky me!

Brene Brown quote

I was standing in the tidal pool at Dalebrook with a friend on the last afternoon of 2019 and I remarked, ‘gad Dani, I haven’t done or achieved anything this year’ and she replied, ‘you have my girl, you’ve survived’. Her words made an impact, the reality that no matter what curve balls came my way last year, I survived! I know I am not alone in feeling overwhelmed and angst as everyone has their own shit they’re dealing with, but I’m learning to believe in my strength and capability and allowing myself to be openhearted and vulnerable. I’ve been listening to Brene Brown again who is incredibly inspiring, especially on ‘The power of Vulnerability’, watch here

Brene Brown quotes

So what do I mean when I say ‘be true to myself?’ Being proactive in finding support and make some me time whilst being mindful and grateful for everything however small; today I am grateful I had a good night’s sleep, watched birds dance across the red sky while driving into work, filled my tummy with warm oats and cinnamon, had a cup of coffee (with milk) and felt a sense of contentment… it’s going to be a good year… I feel it!

So here’s to a year of kindness, gratitude, shared times with friends, honesty, love and vulnerability!

HAPPY NEW YEAR and have you made any NY resolutions you’d like to share?

Cath

brene brown quotes on vulnerability

Ramblings of a blogger: Being vulnerable

muizenberg sunrise

Monday comes around way too quickly for my liking, but here we are a new week, a short one at that and I thought I ‘d share a moment or two.

CATHI TREVOR

Spring buds are blossoming all over the world, yet here we are in the throws of autumn and already I’m wondering how much longer I can bear the coldness of Dalebrook tidal pool. My swimming partner, a wonderful lady was taken to hospital three weeks ago and I miss her terribly, her sprightly attitude to life and energy inspires me to always look on the bright side and take the bull by the horn, but at this moment she lies in hospital with her tired body trying to mend, gasping for life and I wonder at the fragility of it all?

KALK BAY

On Saturday I got up early as usual and took a brisk walk with hubby to the beach, plunging into icy water, (the temperature read 16 yet it felt so much colder) and I stopped mid length to take it all in; the brief breathing space between sky and sea and a sense of perfection.

DALE BROOK  KALK BAY

Earlier in the year I had a brief lapse of finding it unbelievably hard to name three things I was grateful for each day, a ritual I have done on countless mornings. It hasn’t been an easy year with personal issues, loss and sadness, where in the depth of the night I lie awake and wonder if things are going to get easier? In those moments I have to remind myself about the little things like the love of my partner, family and friends, a job I love and to be kind and gentle to myself.

GRATITUDE QUOTES

We have just put our beautiful dog down who shared our life for sixteen years. My daughter said her goodbye last weekend and it broke my heart as we remembered the day we brought her home so many years ago and all the years that followed. I’m sure Roxi felt our love before she closed her eyes for the last time.

Christopher holding Sanuk (passed four years ago) and Andie holding Roxi

Life throws curve balls and I am no different to anyone else carrying their issues, but for a moment I want to feel my sadness and be vulnerable in a space where we so often gallop through the day pushing feelings and thoughts away because it’s easier not to face reality. Sometimes we feel stuck and unsure how to carry on, but I know we need to feel the moments and let them wash over, accept and then let the feelings go.

I’m jabbering on, so I shall stop now, take a deep breath and jump back into this wonderful day where the sun is shining and there’s coffee to be made!

Wishing you all a happy Easter Monday and week up ahead.

cathi trevor

photography: Ian Reeves

sunglasses: Rayban

top: Country Road

pants; Witchery

positive quote

Cath